Morgana Mauney is a health coach in NYC and part of the FIT2bWED Community. The following is her take on the wedding planning process and how it affected her big day.
It has been three years since one of my favorite days of my life. Three years since I said ‘I do’ to my best friend. Three years since I had all of my favorite humans in the same outdoor green space. Three years since I stopped caring about floral arrangements, rain plans, where certain family members would sit, and what type of charcuterie would be served during cocktail hour. It has been three magical years since I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect. No one is perfect. Weddings are not perfect. They are perfectly imperfect representations of who we are as people.
We got married in Water Sound, Florida, a small town outside of my parents’ town of Destin. We wanted our wedding to have a “beachy” feel without actually being on the beach. I did not want sand, salt water and crazy wind to get in the way of our special day. We got married in front of a beautiful tree known as ‘the kissing tree’ snuggled at the top of an open green space. Each element of our wedding had a special place. From ceremony to cocktail hour to dinner to dancing and dessert, we kept our guests on their toes. Our decor was rustic and full of lanterns, twine, and twinkle lights. Some might say Pinterest had a huge influence over our special day. Our total number was 146 and to be perfectly honest, we thought our number would’ve been less because we had a destination wedding...I guess people like us or something.
I wouldn’t change anything about our wedding day. We started with yoga at 7:30am with whoever wanted to join us.
I was shocked that about 30 guests came to hot yoga after a big night of alcohol and s’mores on the beach.
Maybe they would’ve preferred to not have done that, but I absolutely loved that it started off our day full of positive light and love. From early yoga to getting ready with my bridesmaids and family to our I dos and dances, everything was magical. It was worth the tears and meltdowns.
While our wedding day was one of my favorite days of my life, I absolutely hated the wedding planning process. I felt like I was never doing enough. When I would feel confident in my progress, there was always someone asking me questions that I hadn’t even thought about yet. There was always more to add to my to do list. I was the bride and the center of attention, but I had never felt more alone. I felt like I was continuously defending my opinion on food, the fact that I wanted to have a sweetheart table, and that we were having a friend marry us instead of a religious figure.
I felt like I was drowning in other people’s opinions about what I should and shouldn’t be doing on our special weekend.
It took me several months to realize that our wedding had gotten away from us and once I did, I put on a nice smile when people gave their unsolicited advice and then completely ignored them.
My favorite part of wedding planning was learning our first dance choreographed by my best friend Beth. I looked forward to our rehearsals together because it was a time for my fiance and I to just be our silly selves, step on each other’s toes while going the wrong direction, work as a team, and bring some joy into my serious self when I got caught up in the planning. Even though my new husband stepped and tore my bustle while practicing our dance on the day of our wedding, our dance was perfectly imperfect.
Our florist was my hero that weekend. She not only designed beautiful floral arrangements, but she created our ambiance as well. She took charge and created something truly magical. I have no experience with decor outside of our very small NYC apartment. All I knew was that I wanted a smaller, simple bouquet that didn’t make my wrists hurt. She refurbished my bridesmaids’ bouquets on the tables so they didn’t go to waste. Flowers are out of control expensive and I felt like she did a great job keeping the excess to a minimum. From twinkle lights to boutonnieres to zip tying my dress when my husband stepped on it, she was my idol.
The women that I will forever be grateful for are my mom, best friend and sister. They took charge and gave everyone their phone numbers so no one would bother me by asking me questions I had already answered three times. Does anyone actually read their emails? I could not thank them enough for taking my phone away and answering who needed to be answered. They knew that I was too concerned with everyone else having fun at my own expense.
Self care kept me human throughout wedding planning.
During this chaotic time, I learned to meditate. It really saved me. It was twenty minutes I could just focus on me and my breath. To keep my body moving and my mind open, it was important for me to surround myself with positive people. I lifted weights, practiced hot yoga, drank green juices, ate chocolate and had dance parties with my fiance.
The best advice I had been given was to take moments of pause with my new husband throughout the day. The day goes by so quickly and it is so important to take it in and appreciate that all of your loved ones are there supporting you. Having moments to step back and reflect allowed me to have snapshots of our wedding today.
Whether you just started planning your wedding or you’re in the thick of it, just know that you are not alone. There is no need to defend how you envision your day. You like what you like and everyone else can calm down.
Remember to treat your mind and body with kindness through self care, fun dates, and workouts that don’t make you want to vomit.
I was not a health coach when I was wedding planning, but I had a life coach who not only helped me prioritize my to do lists, but also encouraged me to have difficult conversations with over involved people. When I work with health coaching clients who are struggling with wedding planning, we figure out what they need to feel supported throughout their process. It’s okay to take a pause within the chaos and ask for help. I wish I had asked for more.
By Morgana Mauney
@BodyLoveByM / www.bodylovenyc.com